I am often amazed that a woman who has been beaten will not or cannot leave the batterer. Leaving would be the most instinctual and self protective thing to do. In my clinical practice I’ve heard women make excuses for the batterer and talk about the times when it is really good between them. Usually such times are referred to as the making up, honeymoon period. From where I sit, this is a lull that lasts roughly six weeks between episodes. When the beating stops there is overwhelming relief, and often a powerful high. He is attentive, contrite and “very very good”. He has the power to deliver the lowest lows of his “not self” (just not like him) contrasting with the highest highs of his “real self”. He swears that it will never happen again, and because she has no plan in place to leave, believes him.
